Finding A Soul Mate

Finding your soul mate doesn’t require calling a psychic.

Many of us go through life hoping to find that perfect someone we envision as our soul mate. Sometimes we even like to imagine what our soul mate will be like when we finally meet them; someone who is entertaining, attractive, intelligent and understands us completely. While it can be fun to fantasize about running into our perfect partner in the produce section of the grocery store, in reality it is just wishful thinking that such a person exists and is out there somewhere waiting to cross paths with us.

If taken too far, this type of thinking can actually lead to a life of endless searching, loneliness, and broken relationships. The saddest part of all is that with this kind of attitude our perfect “soul mate” may be standing right in front us, only we refuse to see them.

It is said that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. What makes a person attractive to us does not often have to do much about their being, but rather our perception of them. In order for our perception to change, often we must change. Finding a perfect soul mate is not about chasing fantasies and mirages; rather it’s about being realistic and aware of what we truly want from ourselves as well as from the person we are seeking.

One way to attract love into our lives is to develop the same attributes in ourselves that we seek from a potential partner.

Anyone who knows anything about romance and love knows that acceptance is the key to a healthy and meaningful relationship. A soul mate should be a person who truly cares for you and accepts you for who you are without being judgmental or trying to change you.

A key element of finding acceptance in someone else then is to first learn how to accept yourself for who you are.

To start, spend a little time focusing on yourself. Forget about your problems and try instead to be present within the moment and do the things that you enjoy the most on your own. This can be listening to music, meditating, reading a good book, getting a massage, or taking a long walk. The objective is to relax and find peace of mind.

Once you feel grounded, you will next want to focus on your needs as a person. Introspection is important. These shouldn’t be material things, but rather the emotional and spiritual elements in your life that you need fulfilled in order to make you happy.

Evaluate your emotions and motivations closely. Ask yourself what you truly want from your mate in terms of support and companionship.

This also involves taking a close look at your own faults and weaknesses. Coming to terms with your own shortcomings in a past relationship can often lead to life altering changes in your next one.

Perhaps you were unsupportive or judgemental? Identify the personal changes you feel that you must make and stick to them. No one is perfect and the key to success is being honest and accepting of the self.

Lastly, once you have fully accepted your own strengths and weaknesses, you must also be willing to do the same with your prospective love interests.

This doesn’t mean you have to accept all of a person’s faults, but being open and honest about your concerns and working together is the best way to resolve them. Most successful relationships rarely come easy.

It usually takes a conscious effort on the part of both partners in order for them thrive. Once you find a suitable partner who is as equally determined, your soul mate will be in hand.

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